I never thought I'd see the day
by BLT
Summary: Neelix's reaction to the crew getting home.


Disclaimer-Don't make me say it, no don't make me, I'm telling you, don't make me, FINE they all belong to Paramount, now I'm gonna go sit in a corner and pout for a while

Disclaimer-Don't make me say it, no don't make me, I'm telling you, don't make me. FINE! They all belong to Paramount, now I'm gonna go sit in a corner and pout for a while.

Spoilers for Homestead and Endgame

Author's Note-This has been floating around in my stressed out and thoroughly deranged mind for a while now, so if it's a little strange I take full responsibility. Also, please review. I didn't get any reviews for my last story, but even if you hate the story, I need to know so I can fix anything whether it is what's going on is unclear or my writing style.

I never thought I'd see the day

__

What? Another transmission from Voyager? Why this is unexpected. We are supposed to keep in weekly contact, although it has actually been more like whenever they get the chance, which is not very often. I only just spoke to Seven yesterday. Now this is strange, they're using that micro wormhole technology that Mr. Barclay came up with. Last time I checked they could still use long distance communications boosted with the deflector array for another week or two. Wait, the signal is not quite Voyager's, it's Starfleet's, what's going on here? And why am I always the last to know? A stupid question that I know the answer to. Eek! Whoever they are is still waiting to talk to me. Pull it together Neelix.

Neelix activated the viewscreen that he was standing in front of and looked up. What he found startled him enough to make him jump a few inches before slightly regaining his composure. Even then he had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping. 

"Ca-Captain," he stammered, "I hadn't expected to hear from you so soon. Is there a problem? Can I help?" 

"Slow down Neelix," replied Janeway, "No there isn't a problem, and even if there were, I don't think you'd be able to help us." 

"Well then, to what do I owe this honor?" Neelix asked, "and why couldn't I help you?" 

"Well," said Janeway, "we have a little something we'd like to tell you." 

"Who's we?" Neelix replied, clearly not getting it. 

"I think asteroid life has slowed down your response time," sighed Janeway, "however the fault is slightly my own, maybe this will jog your memory." 

What Neelix was watching on the viewscreen slowly started zooming out so it was no longer only sporting the image of the Captain, but the entire crew with a blue sky and the Golden Gate Bridge behind them. Neelix' breath caught in his throat as he gazed at the viewscreen. _This can't be real._

Looking back at everyone assembled behind her Janeway called, "Is there something you wanted to tell Mr. Neelix?"

Suddenly a hundred and forty three voices all yelled simotainiously, "We got home Neelix!"

__

What? How? When? Why am I always the last to know?

Neelix struggled to put a coherent sentence together in his mind and finally settled upon, "That's great, I always knew you would make it someday. Speaking of which, how did you do it?"

"That would require a long and complicated answer," replied Janeway, "But it involved some time travel. And of course, we had to kick some major Borg booty. I'll tell you all about it later, but right now, the crew wants to say some personal good-byes, and our eleven minutes are quickly ticking away."

The crew was quickly lined up and saying their rushed good-byes, which usually consisted of a, "Goodbye Neelix, we'll be thinking of you." 

Neelix barely had enough time to nod his head in reply before the next person appeared. Neelix was secretly watching the chronometer next to the viewscreen. He had hoped to say a special goodbye to the senior staff, but being the team players they are, they were at the back of the line. 

Finally with only a minute to spare the Doctor stepped into Neelix's line of vision. Neelix quickly asked the Doctor to continue telling their story after the rest of them were gone, congratulated Harry on finally being able to see his parents again, and encouraged Seven to keep experimenting with her humanity. 

He gave a fumbled, "If you ever need dancing lessons," to Tuvok. Then B'Elanna and Tom stepped forward. 

Since Neelix wasn't exactly sure how to start he was relieved when B'Elanna broke the ice and said, "There's someone we'd like you to meet." And she held a tiny bundle up for him to see. 

Neelix took one look and immediately lost any words he might have thought to say, but managed to gape, "She's beautiful." 

Tom then took one little arm and waving it around said in a squeaky voice, "Hi Neelix, I'm Miral, nice to meet you!" Neelix smiled and waved his fingers and Tom and B'Elanna moved on with Tom muttering something about leola root. 

Seeing that there was only thirteen seconds left, Neelix gave Chakotay and muttered and cryptic, "Sometimes the person you've been looking for has been hiding in plain sight all along."

At last the Captain came forward, but with only seven seconds to spare. "Well, (6) Captain," Neelix said, "I wasn't sure (5) you'd actually get them back, looks like you've (4) proven me wrong once again."

"I'm (3) just sorry you can't be here with (2) us," replied Janeway.

"Me (1) too," sighed Neelix, "But I've reached my own (0) home I would never have really fit into…"

And the transmission faded to static, and so did Neelix's cheery front.

After taking a few minutes to steady his frayed nerves, Neelix plastered a half-hearted smile on his face, and aimlessly wandered around the corridors of the asteroid. He eventually finds himself back at the quarters he shares with Dexa and Brax. Unbeknownst to Neelix, Dexa was watching from the kitchen as Neelix came sulking in and went to his room. After a moment of thought she hesitantly followed him.

"Something on your mind?" Dexa asked as she stepped just inside the door. Neelix was sitting on his bed, sullenly staring at the floor as if after he had looked at it for long enough all the secrets of the universe would be revealed to him.

"Oh, Dexa," stammered Neelix, breaking his stare-down with the floor, "I didn't realize you were home, come in."

Dexa stepped inside and sat down next to Neelix on the bed. "Something on your mind?" she asked again.

"Nothing big," Neelix sniffed, "Voyager and the entire crew got home."

"Neelix, that's wonderful," Dexa exclaimed, but lost all of her enthusiasm when she saw that Neelix didn't seem happy. "Isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose it is," Neelix sighed, "I never thought I'd see the day. It's just, I can't believe they actually made it home. It's like; it's so unreal that it might as well be a dream. (Neelix absentmindedly pinches himself, confirming that it wasn't). Somehow I always held on to the misguided notion that I would somehow see them again, in person. Stupid, huh?"

"Not at all," replied Dexa, "You were one of them for seven years, and then all that was changed only a month ago. It's only natural for you to try to hold on to a piece of them."

"It feels like now that they're really gone a part of me is gone to," muttered Neelix, "I always expected that I'd be with them for their entire journey, but I wasn't. I ditched out on them at the last second. The greatest thing that has ever happened to them in the last seven years and I wasn't there to help. I mean, maybe I was never and essential member of their crew, but I like to think that I contributed something, even if it was only a smile that made someone's day a little better."

"But you did Neelix," Dexa reassured him, "At the very least everyone was welcome to come to the mess hall to retreat from the stress of their everyday lives, to get some homespun advice or chicken soup for the soul, or a cup of coffee. They could spill their problems in your lap and somehow you could make them feel better. You were always there for them to bounce ideas off of. You could always come up with something to make someone feel better after a bad day; something about you always seems to turn any frowns in the immediate vicinity into smiles. You were game for anything, or at least you put up a brave front that seemed to rub off on everyone else."

"Thanks," replied Neelix awkwardly, "but how would you know all of that?"

"Because," Dexa explained, kissing his cheek, "that's what you are to us."

Neelix sighed and once again returned to his own thoughts, "It's just, I'll be able to hold Miral, or even touch her. Never pour the Captain another cup of coffee. Never go to Seven and Chakotay's wedding, should their relationship ever progress that far. I won't be able to attend Naomi's graduation from Starfleet Academy, or be able to advise her when she becomes captain of her own ship. I won't be able to see if Icheb and Seven are ever fully accepted among humans or if the Doctor ever finds a way to remove their implants. I'll never meet Captain Picard or Sisko, or Data. I'll never be able to annoy Mr. Tuvok again. I'll never get to watch Harry finally get promoted, or see if Tom and B'Elanna ever mend their relationships with their parents. And most of all, I'll never get to have a real conversation with any one of them again, never feed them another meal, never really know who they are. A few years from now I might not even recognize Naomi."

"Maybe not, but you'll get to know Brax and everyone else here," replied Dexa, "I know we can never replace your family on Voyager, but maybe we can fill the void a little."

"I suppose your right," sighed Neelix.

"You all left something behind," said Dexa, "Most people get a lot of it back when they got back to Earth, but not all. A part of them is accustomed to navigating by foreign stars, and never knowing if the next first contact will mean their destruction or a favorable trade. Never knowing if the next nebula will hide the Borg or an energy supply. This one crew, one ship accomplished what no other people could do, the impossible. Even when the odds of them actually getting home were a million to one, they didn't give up and settle on the nearest inhabitable planet. They are explorers, and they got to explore what no other Human or Vulcan or Bolian or Bajoran has ever seen before. And now they are back home. They accomplished their ultimate goal, but with it they left behind the feeling of doing something no one has ever done before, seeing something no human has ever set eyes on. They will never get that back. What will they do back home? Catalog stars and explore anomalies? Compared to what they've seen and done I don't know if they'll ever be truly satisfied. By getting home they're most likely going to loose each other. Why would Starfleet keep Voyager running? It's no longer the most advanced ship in the fleet. They've been to hell and back, but I'm not sure if they'll really find what they wanted. Is that what you would have wanted, to open a kitchen on some planet or space station, where you'll be just another entrepreneur looking for a profit? Or maybe an ambassador to species you didn't even know existed until Voyager came along and still don't know much about. Is that what you really would have wanted?"

"No, I suppose it isn't," Neelix sighed, "You seem so much like my sister Alixia sometimes. I'm sure she would say the same thing."

"So stop wishing for something that work never work," Dexa continued, "It's not like you'll never see them again. You might even see them more with the wormhole technology then you would if you were on the same planet. Longing to be there with them isn't going to get you there any faster. The fact is, you're here, and there is nothing we can do to change that, so enjoy what you have instead of living in a dream world that could never exist in reality."

"You know what, you're right," exclaimed Neelix, "Why sit around here when I've got a colony to run?"

"That's more like it," replied Dexa, "I'll see you at dinner."

Neelix started walking with a new spring to his step. Then he jammed his hands into his coat pockets and stopped dead in his tracks, like he was remembering something. _Dinner, hmmm._ A plan began to form in Neelix's mind and he ran back home. He was relieved to find that Dexa had left for some reason or another and started packing a picnic dinner for Brax and his friends.

A little while later Neelix's plan had truly taken shape. He had made sure that Brax would not interfere. All that was left was for Dexa to come home. Neelix waited in the semi-darkness, his hands clammy with sweat until he finally heard the door open and Dexa came in.

"Hi," said Neelix, standing up and waving.

"What's all this about?" asked Dexa, gesturing toward the table elegantly set for two with candle light dancing on her face, "and where's Brax?"

"Brax is having a picnic with his friends in your forest habitat," replied Neelix, "As for all of this, I figured maybe we could have dinner, just the two of us."

"That's very sweet of you Neelix, but in light of your rather unusual day, are you sure it shouldn't be me cooking the elaborate meals for you?" Dexa asked cautiously.

Trying to come up with a way to get out of the real answer without loosing his cover, Neelix replied, "I just wanted to thank you for letting me spill my guts to you this afternoon." That was only half-true.

"Well thank you," said Dexa, "So, what are we eating?"

"I've got some leola root stew, and then a casserole made with the local vegetables, and then desert is a surprise. It's something I brought with me from Voyager, you'll love it."

"I can't wait," exclaimed Dexa, "Leola root is one of my favorites, and I'm sure you make a marvelous casserole."

They ate their dinner, making idle small talk, but it was clear that Neelix's attention was slightly elsewhere. Soon they had finished the casserole and Neelix went into the kitchen for desert. While he was in the back of the kitchen and Dexa couldn't see him, Neelix slipped something out of his jacket pocket and into a bottle of wine.

He came out a few minutes later saying, "This is my other special reserve of wine, and this (setting down a plate in the center of the table) is chocolate cake. A delicacy on Earth."

"I looks lovely," said Dexa, taking a piece that Neelix offered her. Tentatively she placed a fork full in her mouth.

"Do you like it?" asked Neelix.

"Like it?" Dexa exclaimed after she swallowed, "I love it! It's like nothing I've ever tasted before. It's wonderful!"

"Here, have some wine. They seem to compliment each other," said Neelix as he poured her a cup of wine. All of a sudden, something small and solid came out of the bottle as well. Neelix started to look very nervous.

"What's this?" asked Dexa, fishing the object out with her fork. She might as well of not asked. Soon she was holding in her hand a delicate gold ring. 

Looking at what was engraved inside the ring Dexa found the words, "I have traveled the stars looking for you."

Then Neelix got down on one knee, took the ring from Dexa, and said, "Dexa, I realize that we have only known each other for a little while, but I still feel that we were meant to be together. So, I was wondering, will you marry me?"

"Why Neelix!" gasped Dexa, "I don't know what to say! But, um, didn't you say earlier that I remind you of your sister?"

"You remind me of her with your grace and kindness, but you are completely different people," explained Neelix, "as for what to say, yes or no would suffice."

"Well," said Dexa, stalling for time, "in that case, yes!"

"Really?" asked Neelix, and after he took a moment to slip the ring on her finger, Neelix jumped up and hugged her.

"Wow," said Brax, watching from the shadows as he had slipped back in to watch all of desert, "I never thought I'd see the day."

Questions? Comments? Constructive criticism? Go right ahead. Please, I'm begging you.


End file.
